A few years ago a classmate and friend of mine said that we become dangerous when we become aware of our purpose in God. She was right. I simply added to that. We become a threat to the kingdom of darkness and the enemy when we choose to step out and actually do the thing(s) He has called us to do, instead of waiting.
I may not have told you before, but sometimes I talk to myself. Lol, it sounds funny just typing it out here, but that’s okay. I am not ashamed. 🙂
Well in the last year or so, I often have these conversations (let’s call it practicing) in the shower while I am praying. I envision myself speaking to women, doing some form of life coaching or ministering about my testimony in front of an audience.
Last week was one of those times. Here is a little part of my shower speech:
Never tell God what you will never do or where you will never go because you will either have to swallow your words or He will prove you wrong. The two things I always said were that I could never be a teacher or do public speaking. I hate public speaking. However, when I started moving toward God and discovering who I was created to be, I discovered in my first semester of graduate school through a book Discover Your God-Given Gifts that teaching was one my top gifts. Say what??! I was just as shocked as you. What I have discovered over time is that as I have continued walking forward in that gift in various capacities, it has, by far, been one of the areas of my life that I have gotten the most fulfillment and satisfaction.
As I was listening to myself speak it out loud, the dots began to connect and memories starting flowing from back when I first began opening my mouth-as a child.
I had flashbacks as a young child of me practicing public speaking in front of an “audience” where I was always singing or teaching in some capacity. Some of my sisters and I also created our own radio show as preteens where we would often perform songs, including choreographing dances and routines in front of “an audience”. I can laugh now, but those events were not just by chance.
Fast forward a little to my late teens/early 20s, when I was young in my faith, I would often have vivid dreams that I was speaking in front of large crowds. Every time I woke up from the dream, I would tell the Lord that it was blasphemy! I never desired or asked Him to do those things. I mean, I am a one-on-one kinda girl-or so I thought.
My gift of teaching and not coincidentally, my second top gift of exhorter (encourager), both require you to use your mouth. Based on the book, which divided up the 7 God-given gifts (Romans 12:6-8) into two categories-speaking and service-two of my gifts were speaking gifts. Remember, I said I hate public speaking?
It didn’t make sense that little ol’ me, the shy, behind the scenes, quiet girl who loved to curl up with a book and get lost in her own little world would be in front of all those people speaking. I would prefer to read and write than speak any day of my life.
So why on earth was I was having dreams about speaking in front of audiences?
Why was I always practicing speaking (and singing) in front of an audience when I was a child?
Why did God make two of my top gifts speaking gifts?
You see where I am going with this?
I was and still am content to sit behind this computer and type away without anyone ever seeing me. Yet, a lot of what I have been doing as I have been walking this journey to becoming God’s best right now involves using my mouth.
The icing on the cake came this past week as I was driving home. I asked God a question as I began mulling over all of these recent discoveries.
Lord, is it that I am really afraid of speaking or has this been a tactic of the enemy to keep me from speaking? What am I really afraid of Lord?
You gave me these gifts. You said that You knew me before You formed me in my mother’s womb and set me apart before I was born. Whatever I am supposed to be doing must involve some kind of speaking or why would you give me those gifts?
I got fired up.
The enemy had been trying to silence me for years, trying to get me to believe something that wasn’t true. The very thing that I thought I was afraid of was the very same gifts God had put in me.
I believed those lies about speaking not being a part of me or a part of my gift, saying “No this couldn’t be me”, when it was what God had already decided and set apart for me to do.
It was time for me to open my mouth. By starting this blog and writing to you, I am ending the silence. I have decided that every opportunity I get, I will use my gift to speak into the hearts of women and let them know they have a purpose and that they have been chosen.
I will open my mouth to inspire others.
I will open my mouth to encourage others.
I will open my mouth to challenge others to be who the Lord had already created and called them to be, even right now while they may be waiting.
It’s the enemy’s job to get us off track and incite fear in us so that we won’t step out and do what God is calling us to do. Well, I am here to end the silence and I am opening my mouth as God has purposed for me to do. Don’t let him win.
Join me here tomorrow if you are ready to rumble and face your opponent on your way to becoming God’s best right now.
Photo credit: Autismmind, Quotesgram, Rabbi B
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