While in worship at church on Wednesday night, two songs that were sung triggered thoughts of my grandmother, who recently passed, especially when we sung Cornerstone by Hillsong. These song lyrics were ones my family and I grew up hearing (and often used to do our best Grandma impersonation of, lol) because she used to sing them all the time.
My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness
I dare not trust the sweetest frame
But wholly trust in Jesus’ name
The chorus really got me going and stirred up something inside of me as the tears began to fall. They were tears of sadness, but also tears of gratitude, humility and worship.
God My Savior
God My Healer
God My Deliverer
Yes He is
Yes He is
I was reflecting over my life, all the choices I had made and the place I was in today. (For a better understanding of my story, you can read it starting here.)
I was reminded of the words that my grandmother spoke over and into me over 20 years ago when I didn’t even know the One I was now singing about from the depths of my heart.
All of that came back to me in that evening, when she called me into her bedroom, closed the door and told me she was disappointed in me because I had stopped going to church. She said,
I am counting on you to bring the family in.
The flashbacks kept coming as I thought about my thoughts of suicide, the deep depression I faced several years later and the many, many times I wanted to give up on life and even my purpose.
I worshipped and weeped at that moment because I realized I was still standing.
Even in the midst of fighting some of the biggest storms of my life back then.
I was still here.
I could still fulfill what my grandmother had said to me that day.
Then the Lord gave me a revelation as I sung the bridge of Hillsong’s lyrics.
Through the storm
He is Lord
Lord of all
Even in the storm.
You see the winds and the waves obeyed Jesus. (Matthew 8: 24-27, Mark 4:35-41).
The winds and the storms cease when Jesus steps in. (Matthew 14:22-33)
He can still the storms to a whisper. (Psalm 107:29)
If He so desires.
And that was what God dropped in my spirit in the midst of worship.
He is Lord of ALL.
Even the storm.
Sis, if you are in a storm right now
Feeling like you are being tossed violently to and fro
If in the midst of your waiting, you feel like you are sinking like Peter
Frightened like the disciples in the boat
Wondering when your storm (or your waiting) is going to end
Remember that God is with you right there in the storm.
He is your Anchor in it.
Cling to Him like a life jacket and know that because He is Lord of all
Even the storm
He has ultimate control of when the storm (and the waiting) will end.
He may not have caused the storm, but He allowed it.
Maybe, just maybe, it is so we would cry out like Peter did…
Lord, save me! (Matt. 14:30)
While you are waiting, maybe even in a storm right now, remember that He is Lord of ALL.
And at the appointed time, He will allow it to cease.
As the worship came to an end that evening and I pondered all God had allowed me to experience, I thanked Him for the storms.
I thanked Him because I didn’t give up.
I worshipped Him because He didn’t let me give up.
Even in the storm.
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