Have you ever been scared out of your mind?
I mean heart racing, gut wrenching, sweaty palms, panic attack mode, gonna wet your pants, would just about rather die or melt into the ground scared?
(Ok, I realize that was a bit extreme, but hopefully you got my point, lol.)
Surely this is where I found myself a few short weeks ago when the Lord very clearly said to me:
Just take the first step.
Me: You want me to do what Lord?
God: Walk by faith.
Me: You mean like right now?
So before I explain what I mean and what started this
dialogue monologue between the Lord and I, let me give some background history.
Last year, around this same time, I found myself in a similar position, where I knew God was calling me to take some steps of daring faith. I had just received a call back from a major airline requesting an in-person interview (which they were paying to fly me to) in a place I have always wanted to live.
The thing is, this was a job I had applied to over a year ago, on a whim, not thinking anything would ever come of it.
So when I received the email asking if I was still interested in the position to reply, I was like, “Wow God. Right now?”
The opportunity would result in me leaving pretty much everything behind as well as a career I have had for over 13 years to pursue something that would pay significantly less, but would allow for more opportunities to travel, pursue my business full time and all that God had placed on my heart to do regarding my purpose.
It was a dream come true for a girl…
That is…until it wasn’t.
I went to the interview and everything seemed to be lining up along with several messages about Jumping. I kept hearing stories about others who had left their careers to pursue their passion. Naturally, I thought the Lord was leading me in that direction.
Yet, the girl typing these words that you are reading right now was not ready.
I was struggling.
I had faith or so I thought.
Could I really leave everything I knew and was familiar with to uproot my life and pursue something completely unfamiliar?
I thought I could, but the Lord knew I wasn’t ready.
My faith was based on what I saw.
What I had already created a whole scenario for in my little ol’ mind.
It was based on what I had already researched, planned out and created a pro and con list for.
And truth be told, life was pretty good for me at that time last year too. I was comfortable and safe, secure and doing my thing.
Until I wasn’t.
The next several months up until this day would prove to be some of the most difficult times of my life as God began breaking me in a way that was painful, that challenged me and convicted me in ways that I had not previously known.
You see, I was riding on faith that wouldn’t be able to move ANY mountain. I didn’t even have faith the size of a mustard seed. I said I trusted Him, but I was relying on pure logic.
Until I wasn’t.
God led me to a place where He began revealing things to me about who I really was-the good, the bad and the ugly-as well as some of the lies I had been told.
Several short months later, I entered into the fight of my life.
It was here that I developed a faith and resolve that mirrored what God has called all of us to, one that:
…we trust in but don’t yet see that keeps us going. ~2 Cor. 5:7 (The Message)
One that may have you looking foolish, powerless, despised by the world and counted as nothing by the world’s standards. (1 Cor. 1:26-27)
Ironically, here I find myself again in a similar position, almost a year later.
This time, I am stronger in my faith, more rooted, more trusting, more bold, more daring, more uncomfortable and more determined to start on this new journey and begin this new chapter in my life.
A journey that started with one step.
And I have absolutely NO idea how God is going to do it.
But this new gal with mountain moving faith doesn’t care HOW. I just know He is and that’s enough for me.
He has proven Himself over and over these last 8 months in a way that I cannot deny, even if I tried.
He has answered so many prayers that I uttered to Him and tucked away in my tattered, tear-stained journals years ago, even ones I had forgotten I had prayed.
He has been faithful and dependable from the beginning, even when I wasn’t.
Let me encourage you sis.
Let Him develop your faith.
I know you have dreams, goals and a purpose to go after and there are people waiting on you to fulfill it.
Yet, wherever you find yourself, make sure you take faith with you.
And I am not talking about the kind that is cutesy and neatly tucked away, only to be pulled out at certain moments when it seems religiously appropriate.
I am talking about the kind of faith that will have you literally out in the middle of the ocean, walking on water like Peter, with no borders, as Hillsong’s Oceans song has so eloquently penned.
I will leave you with that song to meditate on for now.
Be sure to come back next week as I share some other things I have been learning about faith.
You will absolutely need it on your journey while waiting.