***This letter was birthed out of the #WildWoman challenge led by Sarah Jakes Roberts where she asked us to write a letter from God to yourself during a time in your life where you wondered if/could God hear or see you.
My dearest Charlene,
I’ve been calling you for so long. There was a time you didn’t recognize My voice, but your name has always been on My lips.
Different circumstances led you closer to My voice.
I’ve called you even before I formed You so intricately in your mother’s womb.
Before you knew her voice, you knew Mine.
I was present with you when you were 5.
I am the God who sees all. Just like I saw Hagar, I saw you. I’ve always seen you.
I saw how you became afraid to say anything for fear of being left out or rejected and no longer wanted.
That rejection goes really deep My daughter and yet, because I know those deep places in you, I alone can heal them.
I know books and words became your escape.
Your escape from a world you wished wasn’t your reality.
A world free of fighting, bickering, and always worrying if those you loved so deeply were going to kill each other and leave you all alone…again.
You wondered where would that leave you.
I was there My beloved, calling you, covering you, allowing you the escape you needed, even then, to be able to discover that, indeed your love for words and books would become a piece of the puzzle of your purpose.
It’s how I gifted you.
Something that wasn’t your fault and was out of your control was the very thing I used to lead you to a place of purpose in Me, a place where years later, you would author a book.
You see, I can use ALL things to work together for your good because you love Me.
I waste nothing, no experience, no pain, no shame, no guilt, no THING, but I use it all for My glory and for your good.
Charlene, My beloved, I’ve been calling you.
I was always there, even in your past, waiting patiently for you to answer My call.
You retreated into yourself for years and eventually you lost your voice.
You stopped speaking up because the last time you did years ago, loved ones stopped speaking to you.
The enemy tried to keep you silent, but he lost.
Eventually, you began to open your mouth.
Your words slowly, but surely became your voice again, as I knew they would.
I know because I know what I put in you.
I know what I gave you.
I knew that shy little girl who experienced something beyond her control would one day grow up and live for Me.
I knew that little girl would one day become a woman who I have used to pray for, encourage, love on, teach, mentor, coach and write to women all over the world to help them find their voice even in the midst of circumstances beyond their control.
I knew that little girl would encourage other women and young girls to use their voice… even in the midst of their rejection, pain, shame, guilt, feeling alone or as if they didn’t belong.
I knew you would somehow help them find their voice because you had found yours when you finally found Me.
You finally heard Me calling you and you answered.