You mean to tell me in the last 11 years you haven’t had any guys to approach you or pursue you?
This was the question a friend asked me recently on my trip to Atlanta. My response was, “Well there were 3, but I guess God was also honoring my prayer request to Him from 3 years ago.”
Truth moment: It has been 11 years since I have been in a serious relationship. It’s also been 11+ years that I have been celibate. (I take NO credit for this, it is completely by His grace alone.)
This question prompted me to go back in time to that very prayer request I made, in frustration, forgetting that not only did God hear me, but that He would dare to honor that prayer, immediately.
I distinctly remember stepping into the shower that day in January 2016 and saying:
Lord, please hide me until You decide I am ready to be found by my husband.
Before I give you the backstory, let me ask you this: Have you ever had to go back and remind God about something you prayed about and tell Him that He could now ease up on or disregard your previous request? I think they call it reneging, where one withdraws from or goes back on one’s word.
Perhaps I may be the only one and that’s ok. I will be out here by myself. Lol!
The Lord then brought me back to a conversation I had in my car with Him, just weeks prior to my friend asking this question, where I jokingly said, “Ok, Lord, You can unhide me now.” There were a number of things that prompted this desire to revoke my previous prayer. For starters, I had finally reached a place in my life where I was ready to open my heart up to love and being pursued again. I had also recently celebrated the wedding of a friend whose love story was so beautiful and truly a God story. The wedding was a reminder that our God is still faithful, worth waiting on and that He withholds no good thing from those who walk upright before Him (Psalm 84:11). If I am honest, I had also been feeling forgotten recently and really resonated with Ayesha Curry’s comment about feeling insecure.
When I began to think about the story that prompted this crazy prayer request, I came to the conclusion that I was not forgotten, but just hidden.
So here’s the backstory:
It was summer 2015 and I had already been through a few unhealthy relationships, as well as 2 potential pursuers, who turned out to not be God’s best for me. I was minding my business and had really gotten into a sweet spot with the Lord, in that I clearly remember telling the Lord, “You and I have a good thing going on here and I just don’t want a guy to come along and mess up what we have going on, if he isn’t from You.”
I was in a space where I was content with life and completely satisfied in my relationship with the Lord. I was also on the heels of a major slip up in my purity just several months before and was still actively working on rebuilding the rift I had caused in my relationship with the Lord as a result.
Out of nowhere, literally, a guy at my church began to show interest in me. Since we were on the same team preparing for a project to serve together later that year, we had an opportunity to exchange numbers and get to know each other a little better. Although a bit skeptical at first, I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.
We talked for a couple of months, as I desperately tried to fight the urge to ask him, “what is it you really want from me?” He was constantly asking me questions about what I wanted in a relationship, in a potential spouse, marriage, and about purpose, amongst other things. I was trying to play it cool and wait for him to make his intentions clear, which never happened.
We went through this back and forth for a few months. I had become so frustrated and tired of all the mixed messages and signals he was sending. In one instant, he was telling me he had just met his wife, while looking directly at me, and in the next breath, (usually when I asked him direct questions), he was doing the two foot shuffle with his words and avoiding direct answers.
I just didn’t want to waste any more of my time trying to figure things out with him. At that point in my life, I decided I wasn’t going to allow any guy to take up my time if he wasn’t serious or making his intentions known upfront. I eventually began to distance myself from him and stopped taking his calls, especially after the Lord gave me a specific command about me not spending any alone time with him. Honestly, if I had not taken that stance and drawn the line of not allowing him to take up any more of my time, I believe he still would have been stringing me along until this day.
That prayer request, although birthed out of anger and frustration, actually became a catalyst for the initiation of the Lord’s protection. Not only did He honor my request that day, but He also showed me a vision of what my position was to remain, in Him, until He saw fit to unhide me.
This is a part of what Lady In Waiting222 represents, specifically the 222, especially for those who may be waiting on marriage. Sis, if you are still waiting, know that the Lord is still forming and making you so He can present you to your Adam (Genesis 2:22), if that is His will for your life.
Beloved, you are engraved on the palm of His hands (Isaiah 49:16). He hasn’t forgotten you. He may just be hiding you. Stay encouraged and keep becoming His best RIGHT now, while you wait.
Then the Lord God made a womanGenesis 2:22, NLT
Scripture references: The Holy Bible (NLT and several translations)
References: Dictionary.com, Buzzfeed News
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